My photos keep bleeding together. None of them stand out. They’re all the same, and none of them are good enough.

Trees, people, objects are no longer obscure lines and curves, but normal, geometric shapes on a piece of glossy paper. I can’t see the beauty in anything anymore. I need Brenda’s eyes. She’s always been able to see what I’m not able to.

Everything is falling through the cracks. Reality for me seems to slip into all of the places I can’t reach. Normalcy comes in pill form, but along with it comes lack of feeling. Is that what the goal is, here; to make the emotionally unstable feel no emotions at all?

My photos are nothing if I don’t connect. How do they expect me to work in this place? How the fuck do they expect me to see in a place that equips me with emotional blinders?

I need to feel to see. I need to see to feel.